No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
my poor anus
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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