we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i just google imaged poop.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
