how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
