He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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