Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
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We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
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I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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