if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
My dad just said "fuck circus"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
