who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
