I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
