Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
