i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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