We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I need a beard to bite.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
