How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
