Don't you send me to vm
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
