he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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