If i come over, it means nothing
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
