So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
