he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize