why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
