meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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