I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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