I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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