whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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