dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize