i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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