So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
