My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
