Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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