I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
