anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
