At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
