he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
