thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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