I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
