i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
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