I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
