what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
