So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize