What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
