ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
