I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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