So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
