you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
