What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
