Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
