haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
MIDGETS
????
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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