So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
