His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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