Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
