it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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