Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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