Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.