Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.

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  (207): I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated. http://tfl.nu/fawe
  Replies (8) Good night (807) Bad night (2280)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.

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  (763): i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells. http://tfl.nu/8di1
  Replies (83) Good night (1252) Bad night (17422)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I could make wine with my vomit

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  (503): I could make wine with my vomit http://tfl.nu/9wng
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (2815)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE

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  (831): I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE http://tfl.nu/5c8q
  Replies (29) Good night (5785) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...

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  (530): my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad... http://tfl.nu/yh1f
  Replies (52) Good night (2485) Bad night (10322)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm never eating chinese again.

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  (215): yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night. (215): i'm never eating chinese again. http://tfl.nu/0tg8
  Replies (11) Good night (924) Bad night (4522)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.

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  (707): Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman. http://tfl.nu/78fa
  Replies (2) Good night (1227) Bad night (2151)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.

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  (317): I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck. http://tfl.nu/ppsw
  Replies (10) Good night (1036) Bad night (1618)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...

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  (407): he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet... http://tfl.nu/8m0e
  Replies (4) Good night (581) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?

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  (859): And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck? http://tfl.nu/pzcv
  Replies (9) Good night (563) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"

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  (815): Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?" http://tfl.nu/0929
  Replies (3) Good night (1453) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up

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  (248): I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up http://tfl.nu/z2m0
  Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?

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  (706): Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/bcib
  Replies (2) Good night (378) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.

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  (520): At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget. http://tfl.nu/wj00
  Replies (6) Good night (356) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.

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  (979): Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo. http://tfl.nu/7yqz
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (365)

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