Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!

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  (509): ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car! http://tfl.nu/lfwp
  Replies (13) Good night (856) Bad night (1090)
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  (716): View more from New York

  how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?

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  (716): how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page? http://tfl.nu/st43
  Replies (19) Good night (967) Bad night (6671)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.

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  (785): He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me. http://tfl.nu/3her
  Replies (11) Good night (749) Bad night (2379)
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  (415): View more from California

  And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!

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  (415): And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?! http://tfl.nu/ikec
  Replies (9) Good night (3007) Bad night (880)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.

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  (248): either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her. http://tfl.nu/6guc
  Replies (10) Good night (4667) Bad night (1327)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.

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  (608): We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me. http://tfl.nu/8edb
  Replies (4) Good night (1375) Bad night (745)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?

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  (801): Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous? http://tfl.nu/yl4t
  Replies (9) Good night (1816) Bad night (599)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.

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  (703): Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything. http://tfl.nu/6ga5
  Replies (12) Good night (2463) Bad night (820)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch

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  (810): if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch http://tfl.nu/vxbt
  Replies (15) Good night (2394) Bad night (679)
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  (347): View more from New York

  I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.

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  (347): I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick. http://tfl.nu/dk06
  Replies (6) Good night (1262) Bad night (694)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back

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  (512): You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back http://tfl.nu/1cno
  Replies (2) Good night (1349) Bad night (573)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.

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  (404): You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car. http://tfl.nu/j1re
  Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (1176)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background

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  (204): You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background http://tfl.nu/bshd
  Replies (1) Good night (625) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.

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  (859): Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game. http://tfl.nu/aj7d
  Replies (2) Good night (368) Bad night (168)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.

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  (+44): eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report. http://tfl.nu/s4ig
  Replies (0) Good night (245) Bad night (124)

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