HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
