P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
