He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize