They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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