If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize