you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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