I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
