i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
