yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
