So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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