Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
