HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Randomize
