she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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