Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
